You Don’t Have to Like My Online Community Staff, You Only Need to Treat Them with Respect
I don’t allow anyone to treat my staff members in a disrespectful manner. I will accept slightly more abuse when it is directed at me, then I will when it is directed at my staff. This is part of building a tight knit, loyal team.
But I think it is worthwhile to separate what it means to treat people with respect, as opposed to liking someone, agreeing with them or actually respecting them.
Those three things, you have no control over and it is important to remember that. People decide whether to like, agree or respect someone on their own. You can influence that, but it is not your choice. What you can ensure is that members treat your staff in a respectful way, especially when they are on your community.
I certainly prefer that people like and respect me and my staff, but it is not something that I need to know that I am making the right choices. I’m managing the community to specific goals and standards – managing for everyone, for our niche, for our focus, for the people who appreciate what we provide. Not managing for just 1 person.
If someone doesn’t like me or respect a member of my staff, then that is their choice and I respect it, as long as they don’t treat any member of my team in a disrespectful manner. You can treat someone respectfully, even if you don’t respect them, like them or agree with them. That’s what civility is all about.
As long as a member isn’t misleading the public about moderation, treating the staff in a disrespectful manner or otherwise violating our guidelines, we’re in a good place. Whether or not they like and respect me and my staff, as long as they aren’t doing those things, everything is fine. You can’t get hung up on whether or not people like, respect and agree with you because you’ll go crazy. That’d be nice, but people don’t have to do that.
The only thing they have to do, as a member of my community, is participate in good faith, in line with my guidelines and policies. Everything else will fall into place.
Hi, nice point. The different uses of the word “respect” also makes me think about the disclaimers that people use so much in common speech.
“I respect ya’ m8” followed by a blatantly disrespectful comment or “no offence but…” are quite common practises that I am very quick to jump onto.
So many people seem to believe that if they say that they are a nice person or that they like somebody that they then have a right to be outlandishly insulting. Instead, behaviour should obviously be tempered to its audience and how they might feel, regardless of the use of the actual words.
Incidentally, I wrote a little article on my whitealien website about a man I met who I like to call Balloon Blower and something his uncle said to him. “You have to consider the feelings of all of the people, even if they are only four years old.” That comment is taken a bit out of context here but it has stayed with me all this time.
Thanks for sharing that, Kal. :)
Too true. I’m exactly the same, I really, really don’t mind abuse or insults towards myself – but any abuse, disrespect or insults thrown or directed towards any of my staff is an immediate and permanent ban.
As one member found out. They’d insulted me a few times before, which was perfectly fine. I told them straight they don’t have to like me, but my staff members are volunteers and deserve to do their jobs without harassment. He pretty much left them alone until the one night he deliberately set out to try and upset one of my staff members, constantly baiting her. The very second he called her a derogatory name – permanently banned.
Some of the members whinged a little as he was popular with the regulars but the important thing is it set an example. Doesn’t matter how popular you are, the policy is no abuse to any of my staff members.
If anyone has a complaint about my staff that’s what my PM or the contact form is for, and they can call me as many names as they like in those two forms of communication, but targeting my staff – permanent ban.
Nobody’s done it since.. yet.